By land or by sea?

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Warily the Drow again approach the portal, but this time all stays peaceful; seems there are no other drakes around. They lead the lizards through and for a moment, all are totally disoriented. When the sensation passes, they find themselves in a dark cave where several battle ready Kua Toa are waiting for them. When the guards hear that the Drow have been trading with the Duergar, they are allowed to pass. Once again they are back in the dark and gloomy city of Looblishar.

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At the temple they meet Vuon, who leads them to the throne room. In stead of Kerl Ooil, a Drow male is sitting on the throne – the one they met on their way to Dunspeirrin. Lilith tells him she needs passage to Erelhei-Cinlu overland with their cargo. Xothed Trizz ‘Lorlin makes her a better offer:

You can travel overseas, since Vuon is traveling with a big group to Blessed Seahaven anyway.

And how much will the passage cost us?

Because I have a special interest in your group, the passage will be free. All I ask is that I can call on you in the future, where you will have to hold your end of the bargain. The offer stands for two days.

The Cleric thanks Xothed with a curt nod and turns to leave. Vuon leads them outside. The Xaniqos are wary of the offer, but the sea trip will take them four days and by road it will take three weeks. Jharrath asks Vuon if there is a library. There is none, but there is a Kua Toa temple that has recorded history. Phaedra and Jharrath decide to visit it. Many eyes are watching them from the dark. At the temple, a priest dressed in gold reads the old tomes – necklaces made of seashells – to the Drow. On the wall of the moist and wet dome-like room the history of the Kua Toas is depicted in mosaic. The void, the nothingness, is worshiped in these scenes. The Priest tells them that Vuon was challenged to a duel and has won the right to lead the mission to Blessed Seahaven. These heathens need to join our cult, he says. Do you know that Looblishar means ‘Forsaken for Shar’, forsaken until the void comes? After the visit to the temple, the Drow go to the docks to take a look at the barges. Last time there was some activity, but now the port is buzzing with action. There are ten large barges, some of them are being loaded with chests and crates. Many Kua Toas are armed to the teeth. After observing the scene for a while, brother and sister go back to the Inn

Lilith has been questioning the bartender on the subject of the ritual. It seems that this year the ritual to persuade Kua Toas to come to the goddess Shar, is much bigger than usual. When the Clerk mentions the name Kerl Ooil, his expression becomes uncertain, and upon hearing the name of Trizz ‘Lorlin, a look of fear crosses his features. She goes to her room and prays for guidance to the Spider Queen, but the answer remains unclear. The Cleric is inclined to refuse Trizz ‘Lorlin’s offer for now and see how he will react. She doesn’t like to be forced into an uncertain situation and doesn’t trust the male one bit. There must be a catch to his offer.  After a night’s rest, where Jharrath and Alvra keep watch, the Cleric again prays to Lolth and casts a divination spell.

Will it be an advantage to House Xaniqos to embark with the Sharan Kua Toas?

After a long silence, the answer is

You will meet no peril on that journey.

Still rather cryptic, but Lilith makes up her mind: they will go by sea anyway. The extra 2.5 weeks would take too long, they need to get back to their House.

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Phaedra and Lilith go back to the temple and inform Vuon of their decision to board. The Scout emphasizes that whatever happens in Blessed Seahaven, the Drow will be kept out of it! Vuon agrees and tells them to be ready in two hours. They pay the inn keeper and walk towards the port. Two barges are packed with cargo, three others are filled with slaves who carry crude weaponry, like javelins and spears. Three barges are still empty; it seems those are for the Xaniqos and their lizards. The animals are lead onto the barges – four per barge – and secured, while eight Hobgoblin slaves man the oars. Around fifty Kua Toas are in the water, swarming around the vessels. At the plateau above, the Drow male has appeared to see them off, accompanied by humanoids in cloaks. Vuon lifts his scepter and cheers, and is answered by the gathered Kua Toas – the exodus has begun.

The Portal

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The Matron Mother eagerly awaits their return, so the four siblings leave the Steelshadow mansion as soon as they have rested a bit, the men carrying the treasure chest and Phaedra holding on to the gems. They only stop at the Hammer & Anvil Inn to pick up their lizards. The beasts seem to be in excellent condition. They thank Ivar for taking good care of their animals and then set out into the Underdark, riding the big reptiles in single file. 

The Xaniqos cross the bridge, looking imposing but none too glorious. The Cleric is wearing shards of her burned robe and ill fitting dwarven armor. Still she likes the feeling of riding above the crowds in the streets; it is rather comfortable to travel this way. Alvra is an excellent rider and Phaedra and Jharrath also manage quite well. The lizards stay calm and are well trained, even in the ruckus of the busy bridge. They travel to the south of the town and set out into a remote area, south-east of Dunspeirrin. With the map, Lilith leads the way to the portal that will take them back to Looblishar and consults her sister every now and then to double checks if they still head in the right direction. Their mounts don’t seem to tire and the Underdark passages provide enough insects and fungi to feed them.

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After a while the path gets rougher and it leads them towards a passage: an arc, twenty feet wide and very high. It is surrounded by walls and there’s no other way to pass than underneath the arc. It seems like they have arrived at the portal. The siblings stop at a safe distance and first take a short break. They secure the lizards there. When they proceed towards the arc, their vision is blurred, the closer they come to the entrance. At ten feet distance, there seems to be a streaming curtain of mercury in front of it and at five foot distance it resembles a mirror. Suddenly a mouth, then a head becomes visible in the mercury mirror, though nothing else happens.

Lilith tries out several passwords, like ‘Looblishar’ and ‘Steelshadow’, but to no avail. Then her sister says ‘We want passage’ in Duergar. A voice answers from afar and tells them they first need to solve ten riddles. Seven will grant them passage, ten means passing without harm.

Question 1:
I can have no color, though there may be darkness within. I have no weight and hold nothing, and if placed in a container it becomes lighter.

The Drow decide on the answer Space, which alas is incorrect. The correct answer was Hole.

Question 2:
Of all your possessions, I am the hardest to guard. If you have me, you will want to share me. If you share me, you no longer have me.

To their delight, they have the right reply now: Secret.

Question 3:
Alive as you but without breath, as cold in my life as in my death; never a thirst though. I always drink dressed in a mail but never a cling.

Again they know the correct answer: Fish.

Question 4:
I am free for the taking through all of your life, though given but once at birth. I am less than nothing in weight, but will fell the strongest of you if held.

Their answer is assessed as positive: Breath.

Question 5:
They flow and leap, but only as you pass. Dress yourself in darkest black, and they are darker still. Always they flee in the light, though without the sun there would be none.

And again: Shadows.

Question 6:
They come to witness the night without being called, a sailor’s guide and a poet’s tears. They are lost to sight each day without the hand of a thief.

Their fifth good answer: Stars.

The Xaniqos breath a little easier at this point. But then…

Question 7:
The more that there is, the less that you see. Squint all you wish when surrounded by me.

After a long discussion, the Drow decide on Mist, but the voice tells them the answer should have been Darkness. They have only one mistake to spare to gain access to Looblishar, and the tension grows worse.

Question 8:
The life I lead is mere hours or less, I serve all my time by being consumed. I am quickest when thin, slowest when fat, and wind is the bane of the gift that I bring.

The answer Candle is correct!

Question 9:
A spirited jig it dances bright, banishing all but darkest night. Give it food and it will live, give it water and it will die.

Though their solution Flame is on the track, the right and only answer is Fire. No more mistakes!

Question 10:
Lighter than what I am made of, more of me is hidden than is seen, I am the bane of the mariner, a tooth within the sea. Speak my name.

Fortunately they manage to solve this riddle together, and tell the voice it’s Ice. And that is correct.

They have gained access! The mouth says ‘You may pass’ and then disappears. All that is left is a void. Alvra mounts his lizard and Phaedra takes hold of the others, which are connected by a rope. When the portal doesn’t open and nothing else happens either, Lilith walks towards it… and sees a small thorny head poking through that looks malignantly at her. When she consults the Wizard about the creature, Jharrath tells her that it reminds him of a portal drake, small dragons that live in and near portals. They love to attack travelers who use the portals. Seems he is right.

portal drake

The little creature flies from the portal, accompanied by two other drakes. They are light gray, four feet long and have razor sharp teeth, as the Cleric is about to find out. One of them is attracted by Lilith’s weapon and it bites her arm. Another uses its spell-like ability and shimmers in the air. They converse in Draconic, figuring out some kind of strategy, and laugh in anticipation.

Jharrath summons a salt mephit and orders it to attack one of the drakes with a ten feet cone of salt crystals. Though its victim is angry, it doesn’t seem hurt. Alvra’s javelin has more effect and hits one of the portal drakes. It counterattacks with a cone gas attack from its snout, but stops when it is hit by a bolt from the Scout’s crossbow. The animal is not amused. Another gas attack hits the Fighter and the Salt Mephit, and both feel weaker and seem to lose strength. Lilith’s flail scores a hit on the one that has been gnawing her arm.

Suddenly there are four drakes where first there was only one; seems they know the spell Mirror Image as well as Blur. Alvra takes his two-edged sword and steers his lizard towards the drake that is hovering over him. His mount attacks with its claws and all of a sudden the mirror images disappear: the attack has taken the drake by surprise. Now all go into a frenzy to hit each other but they alll miss. When the salt mephit’s opponent evades its attacks, the Drow Wizard sends a Kelgore’s Firebolt. Try to evade that! He wounds one of the drakes heavily and it warns the others about Jharrath. Seems like they are magical creatures indeed.

Lilith is still fighting ‘her’ drake and hits it well with her flail and a fire burst. In reaction the beast again bites her shoulder and its teeth sink deep into her skin. Big mistake! Enraged, the Cleric beats the creature to pulp, while another Firebolt finishes off Jharrath’s opponent. Alvra’s lizard strikes with its claws and takes down the last drake from the air. The Drow Fighter cuts the body into tiny pieces before it hits the ground and then jumps down to retrieve his javelin.

The portal is clear!

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They have an Efreeti!

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One of the Fire Elementals attacks Jharrath, while the other goes for the Cleric. Flames lick hungrily at her piwafwi, but fortunately the potion against fire saves her. This is not the case with the Wizard, who – stepping back – underestimates the reach of the monster and receives a second blow. He is severely wounded by the swing and the fire and his knees start to buckle. Phaedra and Alvra attack the flaming opponent to draw its attention away from Jharrath. Boldly the Fighter steps onto the solidified lava and lashes out at the Elemental – and kills it! The Wizard drinks a potion to recover some of his health.

Meanwhile Lilith again is hit by the second Elemental. She counterattacks and searing lights flow from her hands, straight into the monstrous giant, after which she takes herself to temporary safety and drinks a healing potion too.

A fierce fight develops between the four Drow and the Fire Elemental. A fight in which Alvra gets stuck with one foot in the lava, where hits are scored and misses are regretted, where mirror Scout images appear and the Cleric’s piwafwi disappears – Lilith can save her house insignia though. Phaedra’s piwafwi is scorched as well. A magic missile finally brings the monster down. One of Lilith’s potions returns a bit of vitality to the Fighter.

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Warily the four walk under the arch into the next chamber and see two Flamebrothers and a Salamander working the anvil. In an open casket mithril shines and shimmers. They decide to attack from a distance and take out their crossbows; Lilith under the protection of an Armor of darkness spell. Jharrath casts black tentacles near the creatures and manages to capture one of the Flamebrothers and the salamander. The other Flamebrother stays free but to no use: together the foursome attack and a javelin thrown by Alvra finishes off one, while Phaedra shoots the other.

Lilith activates her Spiderbound Buckler and her shield transforms itself into a small spider. A Yochlol spell wills her body to form eight tendrils. The Salamander goes under in a shower of javelin, crossbow, soundburst spell and the by now famous magic missiles from the wand of the Wizard.

When they walk towards the anvil, Phaedra finds a chest with gold pieces and pearls, but nothing that resembles a mithril staff. When she walks towards a wooden oblong case, a thundering voice calls out.

I wouldn’t do that if I were you!

The Cleric has had it with this expedition and sends her spider towards the case. When nothing happens, she walks towards it herself and picks it up. Immediately a twelve feet long floating red torso appears. An Efreeti! Its two large hands come together in a spell craft gesture and fire erupts all around them in a twenty foot radius – like fireworks. Thanks to their quick reflexes they manage to shield their eyes from it while their potions shield them from the fire. The Xaniqos stay safe except for Alvra, who is blinded by the bright eruption. The Fighter activates a globe of darkness as counter measure, so he’s not at a disadvantage.

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The fight rages back and forth. The Efreeti starts changing and becomes huge. Lilith attacks with her tentacles and scores several hits. The Scout’s spiked chain adds to the creature’s damage. A medium Shadow Viper appears and attacks, guided by Jharrath. When Alvra hears the monster scream, he lashes out and manages to hit the Efreeti. Enraged, it punches down on Lilith with a giant fist and floats upwards.

Unable to reach the Efreeti at this height, the Cleric holds the case with the staff safely against her chest, calls back her spider and walks towards the arch that leads back to the entrance: they have what they came for. Phaedra grabs the gems from the chest and joins her sister, yelling

Retreat!

to the still blinded Fighter. A shimmering wall of fire erupts in front of the sisters, blocking their escape. Jharrath fires another magic missile at the hovering form and Alvra – once his blindness lifts – hurls a javelin and manages to break the Efreeti’s concentration: the curtain of fire disappears. Heavily wounded and angry, the monster’s last words

I will be back!

bounce against the walls of the suddenly empty cave.

Besides the three green emeralds, two star rubies and three silver pearls she already found, Phaedra discovers another five hundred gold pieces in the chest. They decide to take these with them, but leave the large supply of mithril. Lilith finds a magic flail, which glows with fire, and of course a beautiful staff in the wooden case. The potion lasts long enough for them to escape the tunnels of fire.

When they report back to Thangarth, he is very happy to hear about the retrieval of his staff, which – as turns out – can call forth a Fire Elemental. The clan master is delighted to hear the Efreeti has been chased away and tells them they can keep all they have found. The Steelshadows will retrieve the mithril themselves. Thangarth hands Lilith a map with the location of the portal that will take the Xaniqos back to the vicinity of Looblishar. The use of the portal is payed by the Steelshadow clan. And though trade will always be possible, Thangarth hopes he will never lay eyes on them again.

Top Ten Signs You Just Met The Main Bad Guy

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😉 You’d better run when:

  1. Your assassin henchman just wet his pants.
  2. The ancient red dragon you had just been fighting says

    S**t, I’m out of here!

    and flies away.

  3. The bad guy just laughed evilly, and seven birds fell dead out of the sky.
  4. The DM chuckles, and says

    I spent seven hours rolling this guy up.

  5. The bad guy burps, and a human toe flies out of his mouth.
  6. The DM plays a tape of scary organ music, and starts talking like Boris Karloff.
  7. The bad guy is dressed all in black, but has one of those little yellow smiley face buttons (DMs can be sooo sarcastic).
  8. You point your wand of fire at him, and it melts.
  9. The bad guy keeps Elminster in a cage, and occasionally pokes him with a fork.
  10. After the battle, the only Player Character to survive is the one that stayed back in town with the flu.

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Source: 3rd Edition Palace of D&D

The Lair of Fire

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A distant rumbling – much like a volcano – helps to camouflage the noise they might be making. When Phaedra comes closer, she notices the two shapes are no Duergar, but a kind of salamander with a human torso and snake-like lower body. One of these Flamebrothers sees the Scout and runs further down the corridor, but the Drow is quicker and drops down in front of it. Lilith charges to help her sister, but misses her attack. A magic missile sizzles through the air and hits one of the Flamebrothers, while Alvra is less lucky with his javelin. The beasts attack the Drow females and the fight rages back and forth. The creatures use both their tail and spear and Phaedra gets hit. The Drow intensify their attack and draw blood with flail, javelin and missile. When two more salamanders appear from the corridor, the Cleric activates her wand and releases a circle of hurtful energy. The wounded creature’s wounds are torn apart and it drops down, dead as a stone.

Jharrath presses onward and launches another magic missile, while the Fighter pierces the second guard with his magical javelin. When the Cleric subsequently releases her spell, a hissing, hurtling ribbon of pure darkness flies from her hand and strikes the salamander hard. Nothing remains – not even of the special javelin. This display of power chases away the new guards, who retreat into the delivery place, and gives them a moment of time to drink their fire-resisting potions. Not all do so though…

Lilith orders the Wizard to send an elemental into the next room to trigger an attack by the Flamebrothers. The sisters walk forward, accompanied by Alvra, and follow the summoned creature. While the salamanders are focused on the elemental, Alvra peeks into the room and sees that someone, or something, is watching the fight farther down. Phaedra shoots one of the Flamebrothers with her crossbow and scores a full hit. A spell of blindness hampers the salamander further, and together the Cleric and Fighter manage to kill it.

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Another one attacks Lilith, but the potion she took protects her against the fire damage – damn useful, these potions – and while it’s thus busy, one of the Wizard’s magic missile ends its life. The last Flamebrother is under heavy attack by the Scout, who strikes hard with her spike chain. The flame quickly runs out of the beast.

The earlier spectator turns out to be a Fire salamander, that joins in the fight. The beast is as tall as the Drow and has a large tail. It doesn’t much like the ray of frost the Wizard sends. When it tries to grapple Alvra, the little mouths on the Drow’s breastplate gingerly bite into the Fire salamander’s tail. Alvra manages to free himself, but suffers another spear attack by the beast, while the tail lashes out at the Cleric. The elemental’s time in the Underdark has run out, so Jharrath summons three new ones. In a vigorous attack these beings kill the Fire salamander.

In the next room they see the torn up body of a Duergar on the ground – the dwarf has been tortured and scorched. They have found what’s left of the group that went to pick up the magic staff for Thangarth. A rack contains weapons in good condition, and in the Duergar’s clothes Phaedra finds a heavy pouch with two hundred gold pieces.

Illusions

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Thangarth doesn’t strike them as the patient kind, so the Xaniqos decide to stop only at  the market before heading into the Underdark. A guide of the Steelshadow clan will accompany them. On their way to the inn, Jharrath tells his Cleric sister that he has many fire spells, which probably won’t be  effective against the fire salamanders and Efreet.

You will have to manage anyway, we don’t have the luxury of waiting another day. We will fulfill this deal with the Steelshadow clan as soon as possible.

At the inn they strike a bargain with Ivar: he will take care of their twelve fighting lizards for free for three days and continue doing so for a whole week, though the additional days will cost them money. It seems Alvra has created a lot of goodwill with the inn keeper. Or more accurate, with his daughter…

130523potionThey proceed towards the market. When they inquire after a place where they can buy magical potions, their Duergar guide walks them down the maze of small streets and stops in front of a tiny  but clean shop. The Drow are the only customers. A very old Duergar enters the workshop. With his bald head and beardless face, the dwarf looks like an old and withered apple. Jharrath is in charge of the purchases, and asks for potions that can help them resist fire and heat. When the shopkeeper returns, he carries four potions. Lilith pays him 1150 gold pieces for it and hands a bottle to each sibling.

You’d better use them wisely!

The area they enter has turned into a war zone between the Shield Dwarves and Duergar, who are both fighting over the mithril mines. The air is suffocating, and the dwarf leads them deeper and deeper into the mines. Their way leads down a narrow hallway for over an hour. Suddenly their guide stops and points at a piece of stone wall. It doesn’t seem different from the endless corridor they have walked until then.

Go on, you can walk right through!

Phaedra, used as she is to the use of illusions, doesn’t hesitate and steps through, feeling nothing. The second she realizes it is indeed an illusion, she sees the opening in the wall. When the others  see her vanish, they follow her example and together they continue down another narrow corridor. The floor angles downwards, so walking is rather uncomfortable. The Scout stays thirty feet in front of the others, carrying her hand crossbow. Lilith also holds her crossbow ready, while Alvra makes sure his hands are free. The deeper they go, the warmer it becomes, and breathing gets harder. Suddenly the Scout halts: in the distance the corridor broadens and there she sees two shapes. She signals to the others and climbs the walls to take a closer look.

Clan Steelshadow

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Well, that wasn’t too bad. We saved our honor, finished the quest and are very popular with a large mercenary Duergar clan. There are two options: either we have a nice conversation with Thangarth Steelshadow, or we simple ignore these bunch of about three hundred Duergar. By the way, brother, what kind of rod is that?

A rod of grievous wounds, mistress. It can be used five times a day and will hurt anyone around the wielder.

Right. Then I suggest you don’t stand too close when I’m using it. Hand it over.

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Lilith studies the white rod, which is covered in carvings of intricate design. In her mind she repeats the activating command word the Wizard has supplied. The Xaniqos are walking the dark and gloomy lesser streets of Dunspeirrin, on their way to the Steelshadow clan house. There are no nobles here, only ordinary people, the unemployed, slaves, beggars and injured soldiers.

Cut from the living rock, the big mansion looms up within the shadows of the Underdark. Four Duergar are guarding the large front door. One of them ushers them inside when they announce they have an appointment with Thangarth Steelshadow. Seems Murgol has kept his word and they are indeed expected. The Drow can keep their weapons – as long as they keep their hands in sight. The guard leads them through a big hall, down a smaller hallway and finally opens a door to the quarters of the clan master. A more luxurious room, furnished with a stone throne and big tables. Two Duergar are guarding their master. Alvra notices that their (magical) equipment is immaculate, their stance capable.

A Draegloth, easily taller than eight feet, is standing behind the throne of Thangarth Steelshadow. Apparently it is happy to see them, because it’s wearing a big smirk on its dog-like face, an impressive greataxe in its claws.

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A Draegloth has four arms: a pair of Drow arms and two longer arms that end in claws. It has crooked, muscled legs and a black dog’s face with white Drow hair. This half fiend is a mixture of Drow and Glabrezu. It has a gutteral dark, harsh voice and stays mostly on its own. Draegloths are used as bloodhounds. They love killing and rent themselves as mercenaries. Often they are rangers or rogues. The Drow formerly used them as Illithid hunters.

The half fiend – named Leargath – stares at the Xaniqos’ clothes, the acid on their piwafwis, Lilith’s Duergar armor and the nice brooches.

Of which house are you?

Lilith decides to answer truthfully.

We are of the House of Xaniqos.

The Draegloth nods at the clan leader, confirming the Drow speak the truth.

Do you perhaps have a particular interest in attacking my groups?

Thangarth’s dark voice cuts in. The Cleric retorts that her group was challenged and insulted, and that when they fought back, the Duergar Cleric ran off. She suggests it might be better if they make a deal that is profitable for both parties, in stead of fighting. Thangarth considers Lilith’s words.

Phaedra asks after the kind of business the Steelshadow Clan conducts.

We are in the trade business, we deal in mithril – in magical armors made of mithril. And since negotiations often take too long and are boring, it might even be possible that we sometimes loot merchants.  We sell our goods in Dunspeirrin and Looblishar. I have an ‘offer’ to make and we might have a problem if you don’t accept it. Meaning YOU will have a problem. During our recent escapades we encountered a lair of fire salamanders lead by an Efreeti there. He approached us before any bloodshed could happen and we made a deal with them: in exchange for mithril, they would create a special weapon for me: a staff. It doesn’t look special to an outsider, but one can summon elementals with it.

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Efreets originate from the Elemental Plane of Fire and are very malignant. They visit the material planes to harvest raw materials. They are in a neverending war with Djinni. An Efreet is made of basalt and congealed flames, is very tall and speaks undercommon. They are known for their tricks, have magical abilities and are proficient in illusions.

The group, carrying the last load of mithril to the fire salamanders lair and pick up the enchanted staff, was slaughtered and my search party hardly managed to get back alive. I want you to retrieve the weapon and kill this cursed Efreet, or send it back to its plane!

And what is in it for us?

Lilith asks.

You mean apart from your lives? Remember, you still have a bounty on your head! Your reward will be mithril.

Lilith employs her diplomatic skills and on behalf of the House of Xaniqos asks for the rights to deal in mithril with the Steelshadow clan. After a moment of consideration, Thangarth Steelshadow agrees. Then the Cleric requests to speak to the survivor of the search party. The Duergar appears – part of his skin burned – and draws them a map on a piece of parchment. They will have to go deep into the Underdark; the lair is on a not entirely solidified volcano.

The Bounty

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The injured dwarf tries to make his way back to his comrades but seems to be stuck now, so Phaedra moves towards the web to get a better view. Jharrath’s hands gesture in circles, readying a spell. Sparks of fire drip from his fingers. Alvra is about to take a shiny javelin from his pack, when again a voice cries out to his god and the web disappears. Suddenly free, the Duergar runs back to his party. The Scout now hears two others moving in, invisible once more. She signals this to her siblings and then is under attack by two axe wielders. Lilith charges full speed towards one of the Duergar and scores a hit, while Phaedra tumbles back – injured – and fires at the other dwarf.

Seeing a clear target, Alvra aims and throws his special javelin at their opponents – but misses. The weapon falls down. Meanwhile all enemies are in the tunnel and the Duergar Cleric casts sanctuary on himself, flanked by his fellow Fighter. Lilith is under attack now and receives two more injuries. She counters with a soundburst spell, dealing all Duergar damage – even the guy in the sanctuary bubble – and also stuns two dwarves.

Her sister drinks a healing potion, and then takes another, which makes her skin tougher – like wood. Two earth elementals are transferred to the mine and, at the command of Jharrath, attack the Duergar. The Drow Fighter rushes forward to stand next to his sisters.

Let’s go for the Wizard!

Phaedra hears one of the Duergar say.

The Drow Cleric sees herself confronted with a Fiend with claws, a big beard and gleaming red eyes. The first claw attack misses, as does the second. The Spider Queen must favor her today! Lilith makes use of the opportunity and counterattacks her opponent. She manages to damage the scary guy, after which she fully retreats until she stands next to her magic brother; the Cleric knows of a half-Fiend, but doesn’t know anything about its abilities.

Her sister steps forward to attack the Duergar Fighter, who is now heavily wounded. Jharrath casts black ten feet long tentacles to stop the advance of the enemies. And it works: all opponents are stuck and try to get loose. The tentacles squeeze, hurting their victims, and that proves too much for the already injured dwarf. He dies.

Alvra also retreats to where the Cleric and Wizard stand and waits there, sword in hand. The dwarves start to grow larger and try to get clear of the black crushing tentacles, but only two succeed: the Fiend and a Fighter. Lilith attacks the Demon with searing lights, but fails. Phaedra helps her by lashing out with her spiked chain and then moves back towards the others. Jharrath – pleased – launches a…

… and kills the dwarven Cleric and his buddy. The Fiend, not disturbed by the fire at all, says something in Abyssal and disappears from view. There’s only one Duergar left standing and he throws an axe at the Wizard. It hits. A doom spell, sent by Lilith, misses its target. The Scout moves forward towards the tentacles and stands ready.

Jharrath is busy using a scroll of invisibility, when suddenly the Fiend reappears and lashes out at him! Fortunately the Wizard succeeds in his casting anyway, while the Demon is visible again. Alvra and Lilith turn their attention to the bearded red-eyed creature, and Phaedra also takes part. She manages to kill it! A second fireball hits the remaining Duergar, and after a crossbow and two firebolt attacks, that one also dies.

Alvra reclaims his excellent javelin, while Jharrath picks up the dwarven Cleric’s magic rod to check it out – its former owner won’t need it anyway. On the Cleric’s body, Lilith finds a pouch filled with gems (four stones of 50 GP each plus 20 platinum pieces) and a magical full plate armor, while Phaedra comes up with 350 GP and six special throwing axes. She hands the weapons over to Alvra for temporary use, and for selling later on. All but the Fighter take a light masterwork crossbow.

When they get back to the mine entrance, Murgol is still waiting for them. He is very relieved to hear the delver is dead, but regrets that he doesn’t know the fate of his miners. The Xaniqos tell him what happened down in the mine, including the encounter with the hostile group of Duergar. Murgol doesn’t seem that surprised and warns them:

They must be Steelshadows. You seem to have a bounty on your heads! Do you have any idea how that might have happened? It’s not to be taken lightly to be the target of a foul mercernary band that has four to six hundred members. They won’t stop chasing you!

Lilith and Phaedra exchange glances. Seems there’s a nasty twist to their fight in Looblishar.

By the way, Murgol,

the Cleric says,

the delver mentioned something about a master. Apparently the monster has been hired to invade your mine. And when you go and look for the bodies of your slaves, keep a lookout for the bodies of four Duergar, but also for corpse of a Fiend.

A look of genuine surprise and fear crosses Murgol’s face.

Now I am sure: your attackers are Steelshadows. And that half-Fiend is a Durzagon!

The miner is grateful for the information about the delver and promises them he will set up a meeting with Thangarth Steelshadow, the leader of the mercenary band. Perhaps they can talk their way out of their predicament.

Famous last D&D words

17

Of course it’s evil, kill it!

It can’t talk to us like that!

What do you mean, how many hit points do I have?

Was that thunder, or were you rolling damage?

No really. I can do this.

Okay, if I max out this round and win initiative next round, maybe…

I open the coffin…SLOWLY.

Boost me up.

You mean it was a GOOD dragon?

I’ll steal the 20+ level mage’s pouch.

What the hell, there’s six of us and only five type VI demons.

A wish? Okay, genie, make me a ham sandwich.

Hey, all I need is a two or better to save versus poison.

YO! Grendel! Your momma wears combat boots!

I dunno what a tarrasque is, but it can’t be TOO tough.

What do you mean, the dragon wakes up?

Wait! What do deathspells do?

Go ahead and drink it.

I’ll never surrender.

It was a joke.

Hey guys, where are you?

I mix the potions and drink.

There’s no such thing as a bottomless pit. Everybody knows that.

Featherball! I mean, featherrrr……..

Do you realize what you just did?

Tell me this is an illusion.

What do you mean, my spell expired.

I’ll cast Fireball.

Let’s go in.

Let’s not go in.

I follow them.

I stab the dragon and tell it to get off me.

I drink the bottle marked POISON on the off-chance that it’s the extra-healing potion.

I kill it.

No problem.

Let me handle this.

Whaddya mean, a pentagram only has FIVE sides?

What a useless scroll. It just says, HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR over and over again…

I though YOU brought the food!

Why is your torch flame turning blue?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

Trust me.

I never get lost.

He hit me for HOW MUCH?????

They’re only kobolds!

Hey, this chest just bit me!

I try to move silently in plate armor…

I didn’t find any traps!

Wonder what this button does?

Don’t worry, he’s probably just first level.

This 250′ wall has so many holes, it should be easy to climb.

I’ll just close my eyes and walk up to the dracolisk holding up my mirror.

Can I eat this green slime?

What’s your alignment?

My character WANTS to go out in a blaze of glory.

I’ll just walk up to the dragon invisibly.

Why is this man speaking in sign language?

This type of undead can’t drain levels.

I’ll open the door, sneak up on him from behind and backstab him!

We’re in luck! The dragon is sleeping.

That’s only a statue.

There’s no trap on the door, so let’s open it.

I have this dungeon at home, I know where everything is!

Don’t worry, the DM won’t hose me.

The DM’s an idiot.

We’ll untie the prisoners and lock them in the closet.

I see HOW MANY wights?!

It was only the wind.

Don’t worry, wyverns don’t attack unless they’re provoked.

You watch the door, I’ll take out the Gas Spore (Beholder) that’s guarding the treasure.

A Nightmare, huh? I’ll attack for one round and prepare to run.

I’ll take off my armor so I’m silent and slip past the dragon.

They need a twenty to hit me, I’m invincible.

I throw a rock at the eight-legged lizard to get it’s attention.

Who’s the bitch with the spiders?

We killed all monsters on this level.

I’ve been here before. There are no traps in this section.

Well …, I’ll touch it again.

I’ll scout ahead.

I attempt to disbelieve.

I know if I draw a card I’ll get the VOID.

My first arrow MISSED the magic-user pointing at me? OK, I shoot again!

Where’d that thief go now?

Hey guys…wait up.

Trap? What trap?

So what?

Ya know, since our druid’s been so obnoxious, it would probably serve him right if we set his precious forest on fire.

A creature with two BABOON heads on a scaly REPTILIAN body? With TENTACLES for arms? Hunh. Must be some stupid wizard’s magical construct. Let’s kill it.

OK, O Mighty Odin, as long as you’re not gonna answer my prayers, I’m gonna tell ya what I REALLY think of ya!

No, I’m sure there’s some stipulation that says a disintegrate spell won’t work if the spellcaster casts it on himself. Here, I’ll prove it.

Oops, I spilled flaming oil on my beard. I’d better wash it off after we kill this fire lizard.

Well, we know he’s LAWFUL evil, so he should keep his word when he promised not to betray us.

So I’m safely across the pit? Whew! For a minute there I was worried that you might remember my encumbrance penalties.

Thank God!! A hobgoblin camp up ahead! Maybe they can help heal our wounded!

Don’t worry! The chances of me blowing a climb walls roll twice, at my level, are infinite small.

Well, *I* trust our party thief, and if he says this door isn’t trapped, that’s good enough for me.

So that giant fell into the pit? I’ll jump over it and get his treasure.

Me first. Me first.

Try me, sh*t breath!

Oops, sorry…didn’t mean to disturb you.

Come on, we haven’t found any traps so far.

Diamonds … Gold… Saphires!!! Terry! Terry, we’re rich, we’re rich, we’re fabulously wealthy!!!! Terry…Terry…??

Let’s walk this way.

Hey folks, follow me, I remember the way to the dungeon exit.

I never get to have any fun!

You mean they get to use the critical hit chart too?

Hey, I know a dragon when I see one.

What do you mean the whole room we’re in detects as a trap?

Hey you! Frost Giant! How’s the weather up there?

Just watch, I bet I get the one item that’s cursed.

I’m invincible!

A sign labeled ‘pit’? I walk up to it.

No problem. That’s easy!

Hah! I’m not dead yet. I still have five hit points.

I don’t care. I have a Ring of Regeneration.

Yeah, I know it’s dangerous, but think of the experience points.

I stand right underneath the Fire Giant and point my wand straight up.

I wonder what’s in here?

He wouldn’t try that trick again!

Just because you’re a dragon doesn’t mean you can push ME around.

What do you mean trolls regenerate!?!

Here kitty, kitty, kitty…

I’ll open it.

It seems easy enough.

I think he can be trusted.

Those noises are probably nothing.

I’ll pull the lever.

Money!

Magic is for wimps.

Oh. He’ll miss. Just look at my AC.

Hey, where’d all the big spiders come from?

AGAIN!?!?!

I’ll use my taunt skill.

Your mother was a Gully Dwarf.

My God will protect me.

You don’t look like a mage!

It’d be stupid to trap this!

Here, hold this rope while I go down.

Well, if you didn’t belch, who did?

I know an illusion when I see one.

There’s a smell of gas, huh? Well, my lantern is hooded. It ought to be safe.

I cast a lightning bolt at the ochre jelly.

Lightning bolts don’t ricochet off stone walls, do they?

A ballista? What’s that? How many dice of damage does it do?

So what if he calls the guard? A backwater town like this can’t have a very big militia.

What do you mean, ‘Your wand ran out of charges’?

Oh these, I’ve fought them before…”=

He looks like a sunburnt elf?

All that noise we heard and there’s only one drow here?

You’d have to be a GOD to smile after that hit!

Take out a Beholder’s eyes, and Bingo!

I can’t possibly miss…

I go through the door… Wait, I check for traps!

Don’t be silly. That kind of monster NEVER follows you.

Is this one really able to breath fire?

What do you mean, ‘How many hit points do I have RIGHT NOW??

Come on, EVERY evil wizard’s tomb has a way out!

It can’t be a beholder, we’re only first level!

When nobody’s looking, I go back to get some more gems.

It’s an illusion. No spell can reshape the side of a mountain like that. I disbelieve and walk off the 500’ cliff.

He’s only an ordinary 15th level magic user.

CLICK! What do you mean, ‘The trap WASN’T armed.’? What was that Remove Traps roll for anyway!?

How was I to know that that orc would tell the truth about us not wanting to come in here!

What do you mean, ‘Green slime ain’t always green.’?

Nah…the game’s just started… he wouldn’t put a fatal death trap in yet.

You don’t get Humanoid 8th level wizards. He’s only bluffing.

(To Angry Red Dragon) Did anyone tell you you had bad breath?

There’s HOW many Githyanki sleeping bunks in this chamber?

A red WHAT swoops out of the sky at us?

I’ll swim across.

I throw the rock into the dark cave.

I run down the hallway alone.

I’ll use the wand of wonder.

I want to check out the magic tome.

Hmm…I’ll try Chain Lightning.

Ok, the dragon’s asleep. You guys wait back here with bows and stuff. Getafix and I will go up in front of it and cast light on it’s eyes to blind him, then we’ll blow his brains out with psionics.

Garth, you be the anchor. I tie the rope around myself, take the slack [700′] and jump in.

There’s only ten kobolds and there’s eight of us. Attack!

I dive through the fire.

Follow those lights!

There’s a company of 100 barbarians guarding the pass. ‘I don’t think they want us to cross these mountains.’ ‘So what?’

It’s only a naga.

I’m not going to waste spells on THEM!

That’s right, I’m going to polymorph into a pergrine falcon and attempt to land on the back of one of the 12 griffons flying above us.

I think we can take it down.

There only a pack of kobolds.

Does a three save?

C’mon guys – he can’t kill all of us!

I use animal empathy to calm the charging Triceratops.

There’s only three of them. Watch the one that looks like Death, though.

Just because you can breathe fire doesn’t mean you can push *us* around.

Hmm…how do we know you are the REAL Angel of Death?

Hey, it’s only a black dragon, a vampire, and a lich…. and we’ve got a horn of bubbles!

I sneak up to the Lich and pick its pockets.

This is a wimp dungeon.

What does this lever do?

If I were you, Demon, I would sit back down!

That purple robe really clashes with your burning eyes…

Bow to a Demon? Never!

Elminster, you old fart, I thought you were really mad for a minute.

What do you mean I turn into a bug?

Oh, please! Vampires have so many weaknesses, you can’t help but kill them!

What do mean feather fall wears off?

Okay, we’ll attack the small boulette first.

What do you mean, the Wall of Ice vanishes?

They CAN’T have initiative!

You’ve got 80 hit points; YOU open the treasure chest.

The Hall of Blades? Hey, I’ve got an 18 dex.

What do you mean my axe bounces off him? What’s Stoneskin do anyway?

C’mon guys… how bad could it be?!

Cmon guys, it was only a rumor, there’s nothing here.

So what, I have the artifact!

Ok, so theres a few more of them.

But I just got a little prick!

Did he say he had Plate Mail +5? I stop running and fight him!

Hey, do you guys think that this might just be an illusio… (whack)

I pick the lock on the magic shop window.

We charge!

And the ultimate famous last word:

Oops.

Which ones did you use and lived to tell? 😉

Source: Third edition palace of D&D

And old ‘F(r)iend’

1

The stench of burned flesh is overwhelming in the confined spaces of the mine tunnel. The Cleric orders her sister to go and get Murgol, since she hasn’t spent that much energy in the fight. Phaedra immediately rushes off, silent as a Drow in stealth, and makes her way back to the entrance. Suddenly she hears voices that sound like they belong to Duergar… but she can’t see anyone! The Scout slowly continues towards the sounds of creaking armor and footsteps. When she is fifteen feet away, all goes quiet. Quickly she activates her House insignia and attaches herself to the wall, near the ceiling. Suddenly a cry of alarm, followed by an uncoming axe. She has been spotted! The Duergar who threw the weapon loses his invisibility by that act. Plus he misses, which makes him very grumpy.

Phaedra drops to the ground and casts a spell that lets her see invisible beings. Four more shapes appear from the dark: three Duergar and a warlock kind of demonic Duergar. Its head is bold and runes are drawn upon the sides of his skull. To the Scout’s surprise, one of the Duergar is the Cleric from Looblishar! Again she is the target of an axe, and this time it finds its mark. The half-Fiend orders her to surrender, which of course she won’t. Faced with these four opponents, Phaedra runs back to her siblings.

Meanwhile the Drow tend to their wounds. Jharrath offers his Nightscale armor to his Cleric sister, who again is without. With a short nod of appreciation, Lilith accepts the black armor. When Phaedra arrives with her message of advancing invisible Duergar, everyone gets back into battle mode. Alvra grabs a javelin, Jharrath readies a web spell and the Cleric buffs herself with extra strength. They all hear them coming now.

The first Duergar to arrive around the corner is one of the axe throwers. Phaedra shoots a bolt at him, but her crossbow seems to be jammed. The Wizard aims his web at their opponent and hits: the Duergar can still move, but only slowly, enveloped in webbings. A javelin, hurled by the Fighter, enters the Duergar in an uncomfortable place and the dwarf becomes very still. Lilith prepares for action, but she can’t see much through the webbings that block the tunnel. They hear distant chanting and then a few curses. Seems the enemy Cleric tried to get rid of the web, but didn’t succeed: Jharrath’s spell is too strong for him!